Series (II) is very much lengthy than Series (I), thus, I will progressively publish its important points once in every fortnight.
系列二会比系列一长很多，因此我将把重点分阶段总结，并每两周刊登一篇。
系列二会比系列一长很多，因此我将把重点分阶段总结，并每两周刊登一篇。
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| This is the free book I acquired from the bistro of Fo Guang Shan Singapore. Article in Chinese here directly extracted from the book. 这是我在佛光山寺庙里的餐厅看到，免费赠阅的一本书。以下华语部分的内容直接摘自此书。 |
妈妈最后的生命示现 － 我的永续生死学功课，第2页
在《论语。里仁》篇中，孔子曰：“父母之年，不可不知也，一则以喜，一则以惧。”这句话的用意，当然是指为人子女的一种孝道表现，要记得父母的年纪，一方面庆幸他们能年享高寿，另一方面却也忧惧他们日渐衰老。孔子此言已然隐含了为人子女终究将面临父母百年之后的丧亲心理压力。
My Mother's Last Life Show - My Homework of Life and Death, page 2
In the 《Analects.Li Ren》, Confucius said: "We have to remind ourselves about our parents’ age, on one hand we are glad that they enjoy their longevity, on the other hand we also fear that they are aging.” The meaning of this sentence refers to behaviour of filial piety of a child. Confucius’ quote implies that as someone’s children, we eventually have to face the psychological pressure of losing our old parents.
吾人肉体的死亡主要有三个因素：疾病，老化和灾祸，因为天灾人祸不幸意外事故而死亡的人，就比列上来说其实是相对少数的，绝大多数人都是因为老化以及恶疾绝症而死亡的。然而现代人拜医疗科技的进步与普及之赐，却面临了一种死亡的吊诡困境而不自觉，绝大多数人—不论是否罹患恶疾绝症—都是拖过了个人肉体老化的极限，而陷入末期疾病或身体机能衰败的困境，然后是靠着插管以及医疗机器来延续肉体的生命现象，最后将体力与精神完全消耗殆尽而痛苦地命终，这是身为现代人的终极无奈与死亡的悲剧。
There are three main factors of death: disease, aging and accident. Death caused by unfortunate accident is relatively much lesser, most people die of aging or disease. However, thanks to the progress and popularization of today’s medical technology, people unknowingly confronted with the dilemma of death, the vast majority of people - whether or not suffering from disease - are dragged to live beyond their limit of physical aging, and ending up in terminally ill state or until their bodies stop functioning properly, and then relying on intubation and medical equipment to continue their life, and finally physically and mentally exhausted and die in pain. As part of today’s society, we are ultimately helpless in the tragedy of death.
从我多年来的生死学教学以及临终关怀实务中所累积，体会的经验和心得，我坚信理想的善终情境应该是在个人老化以及生理机能退化的自然过程中，预知时至，自己与家人都能坦然地面对及迎接死亡时刻的到来。因此，我坚持要维护妈妈的生命品质，以及捍卫她的生命尊严与死亡尊严，不让她陷入现代医疗的无谓折磨与困境。非常感谢我的三个弟弟也都有此共识，我们兄弟得以同心协力地陪伴妈妈，让她很有尊严地走完这一期生命的全程。
The practical experience which I acquired throughout many years of teaching topic about life and death and hospice care, makes me I strongly believe that the ideal way of good death should be caused by aging and the natural process of degeneration. One should be able to predict the arrival of death, together with his family, accepting the arrival of death peacefully. Hence, I insist on safeguarding the living quality of my mother, and defending her dignity of life-and-death, to make sure that she did not trapped into the unneccessary modern's medical treatment. I was very grateful that my three younger brothers have the same consenses, and we work together accompanying our mother to complete her life without compromising her dignity.
面对医护团队分享生死的哲思与交流心得经验，我深知现代医疗科技在实际面对临终与死亡情境时的迷思，局限与困境，也深深体会绝大多数末期或临终病患及其家属们不得不面对生死大事之际，却不知道该如何正确地判断与抉择的伦理挣扎，满怀焦虑慌乱与惶恐无助，最后往往陷入“亲情孝道”的严重误解与迷思，以及现代医疗的思维局限与科技框架，作出令病人饱受折磨，痛苦万分，而且又令家属事后懊悔且自责不已的错误决定。
From my experience of sharing thinking about life and death with medical teams, I know the realistic difficulties, myths and limitation of today's medical technology. I know the vast majority of terminally ill or dying patients and their families do not able to judge and make a correct decision while having to face the moment of death. They are ancious, fear, panic and helpless, and finally trapped into the serious misunderstanding and myth of the concept of "filial piety", and misconception towards today's medical and technology framework. Therefore, families may regret and self-blame about the wrong decision made which brings suffering and pain to their loved ones.
要能从容自在地面对自我或亲人的生死情境，首要的功课与步骤，就是要在“心理上”和“思想上”，不但不排斥或拒绝死亡确实来临的可能性，而且要在“观念上”及“认知上”能够接受自我与亲人“自然的”老化过程与死亡结果，以及在“态度上”能够“坦然地”面对及迎接死亡时刻的到来。
In order to calmly face the death of oneself or our loved ones, the primary step is to psychologically and ideologically accept the possibility of death, conceptually and cognitively acknowledge the result of natural process of aging and death, and face the arrival of death peacefully.
我相信普天下所有人都希望自己的父母，长辈和至亲，不但能够年享高寿，而且最后都能够善终。拜现在医疗科技与公共卫生之赐，八，九十岁以上的高龄长者已经是普遍的现象；然而“善终”却是越来越加困难，以致于真正能够“如愿地”善终的人，在比例上其实是甚为稀有的，绝大多数的末期病患都是在现代医疗科技的无情伺候下，万分痛苦地弃世。究其原因，主要有三：
其一，绝大多数身为子女者及家属，一方面落入迂腐的传统孝道迷思，认为“不急救”，“不插管”就是“不孝”，一方面过度迷信现代医疗科技，以为救治可以“无限地”延续亲人的肉体生命。
其二，多数现代医疗科技与医护人员的意识型态仍然未能正视及接受”死亡“本来就是”生命自然历程”的一环，依旧以“对抗”乃至“战胜”死亡为“职志”，极度欠缺对“死亡的意义”应有的哲理认知与尊重，也欠缺对病人的心理需求及灵性成长应有的人文关怀。
其三，绝大多数人——不论是病人，家属或是医生——都吾将肉体的衰老，死亡视为生命的“绝对终点”，而一味地否认与抗拒，因而忽视善终的准备过程，乃至错失善终的宝贵契机。
I believe everyone wishes their parents, elders and relatives not only to enjoy longevity but finally good death. Thanks to today's medical technology and public health services, it is a common phenomenon that elderly aged in their eighties or nineties. However, "good death" has became more and more difficult, to the extend that the ratio of people who are able to have good death as they wish, is rare. The vast majority of patients leave the world in extreme pain due to modern's medical treatment. There are three main reasons for this to happen:
First, most children or families, on one hand are trapped into the pedantic tradition of filial piety. They believe "no rescuing", "no intubation" equals to "no filial". On the other hand, they overly trust the capability of modern's medical technology, they think that treatment can "infinitely" extends the life of their loved ones.
Second, majority of today's medical technology and healthcare staff deny that "death is the natural course of life", they are confronting "death" and even view "conquering death" as their mission. They are very much lack of cognition and respect for the meaning of death and its philosophy. They also lack of giving humane care to the psychological need or spiritual growth of their patients.
Third, the vast majority of people - patients, families or doctors - view the aging of physical body and death as the "absolute ending of life". Thus, they deny, reject and neglect the process of preparing for good death, eventually they lose the invaluable chance of having good death.
First, most children or families, on one hand are trapped into the pedantic tradition of filial piety. They believe "no rescuing", "no intubation" equals to "no filial". On the other hand, they overly trust the capability of modern's medical technology, they think that treatment can "infinitely" extends the life of their loved ones.
Second, majority of today's medical technology and healthcare staff deny that "death is the natural course of life", they are confronting "death" and even view "conquering death" as their mission. They are very much lack of cognition and respect for the meaning of death and its philosophy. They also lack of giving humane care to the psychological need or spiritual growth of their patients.
Third, the vast majority of people - patients, families or doctors - view the aging of physical body and death as the "absolute ending of life". Thus, they deny, reject and neglect the process of preparing for good death, eventually they lose the invaluable chance of having good death.
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