Bereavement 丧亲

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

"My aunt forced me to cry at my father's funeral. But he had been suffering diabates and I had been looking after him for so long since he lost his limbs. I really had no tear to cry. I feel he has relieved from the torment of diabates now. I do love him."
“我的阿姨逼我在父亲的丧礼上哭泣。但，我爸在世时饱受糖尿病的折磨。自从他被截肢（双腿）后，我辞掉工作，一直在他身边照顾他。爸的脾气也变得古怪。我真的没泪。爸的离开，对他和我来说是个解脱。我依然是爱他的。”

"I didn't cry at my father's funeral. He was suffering from diabates. Filial care on long ill parent could not be found."
“爸的丧礼期间，我没哭。他饱受糖尿病的折磨。久病床前无孝子啊。”

"I didn't cry at my mom's funeral. I didn't know how to respond to my lost. And I was so busy with the funeral matters. I only felt great pain after a week she passed on."
“我妈过世时，我没反应过来。丧礼期间，我也太忙了，没哭过。我过了整整一个礼拜才感受到剧烈的伤痛。”

I thank my friends and loved ones for sharing their experience with me. How is every individual reacting to bereavement is not something an outsider can understand easily. 

我感谢朋友和亲人跟我分享他们丧亲的经历。每个人对丧亲的反应都不一样，不是外人可以轻易理解的。

Inappropriate condolence may cause harm more than good. The worst condolence I have heard is:
"You are a man and a man should not cry easily. You need to be strong, your family needs you."

"I am sorry to hear about your lost, please turn your sorrow into strength."
不恰当的慰问只能弄巧反拙。以下是我听过最烂的慰问：
“男人有泪不轻弹。坚强一点，你家人需要你。”
“节哀顺变，化悲愤为力量。”

I truely hope that the two mourners can quietly finish their own chrysanthemum tea packets and then leave the funeral. Perhaps they don't know they can choose to remain silent since finding the right word to say seems so hard for them.
我倒希望这两位吊丧者可以静静的把自己的菊花茶包装水喝完，然后离开。我想他们应该不懂如果没有更好的话要说，他们可以选择保持沉默。

Offering condolence is harder than sending congratulation. A meaningful condolence should not interfere the bereaved person. Friends and relatives should let the bereaved person to have his own time to accept the fact of death of his loved ones and freedom to express his emotions.
给予慰问比送上祝贺语难。有意义的慰问不应该对丧亲者造成干扰。亲友应该让丧亲者按照自己的速度接受丧亲的事实，并拥有表达自己情绪的自由。