R3R Dual Cleanser R3R双效洗脸霜

I knew about this product through a friend. I do not mind to try new product so I can compare the pros and cons across different brands.
我是通过朋友而认识这产品。我不介意尝试新的产品，因为这样一来我才可以比较不同产品的优点和缺点。

It is awesome, especially its ability to remove makeup and cleanse at the same time. It saves you money and time. I love how it is easy to use and how quick it cleanses my face after a day work.
这产品很不错，特别是它能够去除彩妆的同时清洁我的皮肤。这其实是可以节省时间和金钱的。它容易使用，而且清洁效果快速。

As I was told by my friend, this product was invented by Singapore company, formulated with ingredients from Switzerland and manufactured in China.
我朋友告诉我，在款这款产品是由新加坡公司开发的，采用瑞士原料配制而成，生产国是中国。

It is a product of multi-level marketing company so signing up as a member in order enjoy member price is a better option if you want to try this product.
它是直销公司的产品。所以如果你想试试这个产品，那么注册成为其会员以享受会员价格是一个比较明智的选择。

As you can see from the video, the demonstration is done without using water. In fact, you need water to lather the cleanser and start to cleanse. It is hard to capture the features and usage printed at the back of the bottle so I type it out here for your reading.
从视频中可以看到，产品使用示范并没有使用到水。事实上，你需要用水来揉出泡沫，然后才开始洗脸。以下列明产品的特征和用法，以供你参考。

FEATURES:

Mild cleansing components, silky moist texture. Tender soft hydrating essence, superior cleansing ability, easily remove skin flakes, impurities, makeup and achieve deep pores cleansing. Skin is thus prepared for the subsequent treatment.
特征：
清洁成分温和，质地丝滑润泽。柔嫩的保湿精华，卓越的清洁能力，能轻松去除皮屑，杂质，彩妆，达到深层清洁毛孔的功能。皮肤因此为接下来的肌肤保养工作做好了准备。

USAGE: 

Squeeze a small amount into palm and work into lather with water. Apply on pre-moistened skin of face and neck. Lightly massage to remove impurities. Rinse with lukewarm water. Tone and pat dry. Follow with day or night skin care. Use daily, morning and night.
用法：
挤出少量于掌心，用水揉出泡沫。预先润湿面部和颈部。轻轻按摩，以去除杂质。随后用温水冲洗。擦干面部，拍上爽肤水。遵循接下来的白天或晚上的皮肤护理。每天早晚使用。

My review rating: 8.5/10
我对产品的评分：8.5/10

Video credit to Sulit Singapore:
Sulit Singapore的视频：

Mediplus Wash Powder Mediplus洗面粉

This Mediplus Wash Powder was a free gift for my second purchase of Mediplus Gel. Besides trying to wash my face with my hands, out of curiosity, I also tried it with my Nu Skin LumiSpa device.

这瓶Mediplus洗面粉试用装是我第二次购买Mediplus Gel时的免费赠品。 除了尝试用双手洗，出于好奇心，我也尝试使用如新的LumiSpa洗脸机。

I followed the instruction, that was a tablespoon of wash powder, lathered it with water. Then I realised that a tablespoon of power was simply too much, I felt like I can use it to wash my whole body! I checked the instruction on the package again and confirmed that the Chinese instruction was written "a tablespoon", instead of "a teaspoon". By reducing the amount, it was just good enough to wash my face and neck. This 20g sample can actually last for about a month. Few days later, when I watched its official video, I found out that they were referring to "a teaspoon".

我按照指示，即将一汤匙的洗面粉，用水揉搓出泡沫。 然后我发现一汤匙的用量实在太多了，我觉得我可以用它来洗刷我的全身！ 我再次检查包装上的指示，也确认中文指示上写的是“汤匙”，而非“茶匙”。 我减少用量，也可以把脸和颈部洗得干干净净。 这20克样品实际上可以用上一个月左右。后来我在观看Mediplus的官方视频后，发现到他们指的是“茶匙”。

The overall feeling of using this cleanser is good with hands. I can feel that my skin is clean. However, you need to use makeup remover if you are wearing a makeup, before cleansing your face with this powder wash. It is not a makeup removing facial cleanser. 

它的清洁效果很好。 洗完后我觉得我的皮肤很干净。 但是，如果你有上妆，你需要使用卸妆液，然后才用这种洗面粉清洁你的脸。 它不是卸妆洁面乳，它没有卸妆功能。

My next experiment was to use it with my LumiSpa device. After use, I can feel some tingling sensation around my eye and I saw a slight peeling of my skin. Hence, I decided to follow the instruction and use only my hands to wash my face :p

我的下一个实验是将它与我的LumiSpa洗脸机一起使用。 使用后，我感觉到眼部周围有些刺痛，也看到我的皮肤有轻微的脱皮现象。 因此，我决定乖乖地遵照指示，只用双手洗脸 :p

My review rating: 7/10
我对产品的评分：7/10

The powder form cleanser. 

Video credit to Mediplus:
Mediplus官方视频：

APRILSKIN Perfect Magic Cover Fit Cushion APRILSKIN完美魔术遮瑕粉底

There is a popular quote in the Chinese community - There are no ugly women in this world, but only lazy women. For those who are very lucky, they are naturally beautiful. But for most people, we only have "naturally ordinary appearance". However, we can achieve great looking by taking good care of ourselves. I strongly believe that when our family members will be delighted when they see how we love ourselves by taking good care of our own, how we beautifully dress up, not to mention others who do not have the biological relationship with us. One of the many ways to look great is having a bright, dewy and smooth skin. 

在华人社会里有一个这么样的说法 - 这个世界上，没有丑女人，只有懒女人。 对于那些非常幸运的人来说，她们天生丽质。 但对于大多数人来说，我们天生外貌普普通通，尽管五官端正。但是我们可以通过好好照顾自己来实现变美的梦想。 我坚信，当我们的家人看到我们懂得爱护自己，把自己打扮得赏心悦目，他们会觉得高兴；更不用说与我们没有血缘关系的人了。先敬罗衣后敬人是不争的事实。 其中一个很棒的方法就是拥有明亮，露水似的和光滑的皮肤。

I do not like heavy makeup. I love to look naturally beautiful. On top of maintaining healthy skin, I do put on a thin layer of foundation whenever I meet my clients, friends or family members. 

我不喜欢浓妆艳抹。 我崇尚自然美。 除了保持健康的皮肤，每当我需要见客户，朋友或家人时，我都会涂抹一层薄薄的粉底。

The APRILSKIN Perfect Magic Cover Fit Cushion does a great job! I bought it at Guardian for SGD47. Before deciding which colour I should buy, I did some online research such as viewing videos and comments on YouTube. I noticed that the colour of the foundation may be very light. Therefore, I decided to choose shade #23, which is the darkest shade in the Perfect Magic Cover series. If you have a very fair complexion, you can consider shade #21 or #22. 

APRILSKIN Perfect Magic Cover Fit Cushion真的很好用！ 我是在Guardian买的，售价47新元。 在决定我应该购买哪种色调之前，我做了一些在线研究，例如在YouTube上查看视频和评论。 我注意到它的色调是偏浅的。 因此，我决定选择色调＃23，这是Perfect Magic Cover系列中最深的颜色。 如果你有一个非常白皙的肤色，你可以考虑色调＃21或＃22。

You should be curious why I did not check the colour of the samples at Guardian store? I wish I could but the samples on the shelves were all used up. I could not even squeeze a tiny drop of liquid from the sample.

你应该会好奇为什么我没有在Guardian查看样品的颜色？ 我也希望可以，但是货架上的样品都被用完了。 我甚至无法挤出样品中的一小滴液体。

Another reason to have it as your foundation is it has sun protection properties SPF50+, and it can last for up to 24 hours. 

这粉底很好用。其中一个原因是它具有SPF50 +的防晒功能，并且持久性长达24小时。

However, if you have very obvious pigmentation or acne scar(s)/spot(s) that you want to hide, I suggest that you use a concealer instead of relying only on this foundation to conceal. Unless you do not mind applying a thick layer of foundation to your face and making your skin look "completely white", this foundation is not able to completely cover your flaws.
但是，如果您想要隐藏非常明显的色斑或暗疮疤痕／黑印，我建议您另外再使用遮瑕膏，而不是单靠这款粉底来遮瑕。 除非你不介意在脸上涂上厚厚的一层粉底并让肤色看起来是“完全白”，否则这粉底不能完全掩盖你的瑕疵。

Good thing must be shared. I told my mother about this foundation, and she was keen to have one. This time around, I decided to try online shopping, hoping to fond a better deal. SGD47 for a cushion which has only 13g is slightly expensive for me, despite it does a wonderful touch up on my skin. As far as I know, only Guardian sells APRILSKIN. Guardian's web search result showed that it was selling for a promotional price of SGD37! SGD10 lower than what I have previously paid for my first purchase! Ouch! 

好东西必须分享。 我告诉妈妈关于这款粉底，她也希望有一个。 而这一次，我决定尝试在线购物，希望可以找到比较便宜的同样粉底。 47新元的13克粉底，对我来说是稍微昂贵了一点，尽管它修饰功能是一流的。 据我所知，只有Guardian代售APRILSKIN。 Guardian的网页搜索结果显示它以37新元的促销价在网上出售！ 比我之前第一次购买的价格低10新元！ 哎哟!

I paid for my online purchase and opted to pick-up from Guardian store to save on the delivery fee. I did not meet their minimum purchase amount which eligibles for free delivery. One drawback of online purchase was that it was not meant for urgent needs. I have waited for more than 2 weeks before it reached the pick-up store of my choice. It was a delay but Guardian did email me to offer a refund. It was not urgent thus my mother decided to wait. 

我在线购物完毕，并选择从Guardian取货，以便节省运费。因为我并没有符合免费送货条件的最低购买金额。 在线购买的一个缺点是它不能满足紧急的需求。 Guardian电邮我货物会延迟一个星期抵达我选择的取货地点。 Guardian还质询我是否愿意等待，还是选择退款。 这订单并不紧急，所以我妈妈决定等。

I should have stocked up the cushion when it was retailing online at SGD37. It has an expiry date of 2 and a half year from its date of manufacture. It has now retailing online at SGD47.

我应该在它在线售于37新元时多买一，两个。 它的有效期为生产日期后的两年半内。 它现在在线零售价为47新元。

My review rating: 9/10
我对产品的评分：9/10

Video credit to APRILSKIN YouTube:

视频源自APRILSKIN官方YouTube：

It has a divider (the flap) which you need to close before you can place the puff after each use. The cushion also has a built-in mirror.
它有一个分隔盖，您需要在每次使用粉底后把粉扑放置在分隔盖上，才将盒子关闭起来。 盒子还附有一个内置镜子。

The bottom side of the cushion.
盒子的底部。

The packaging.
包装。

The bottom side of the packaging.
包装的底部。

Acne Solution: Dalacin T 痘痘的克星：达拉辛T

Dalacin T, gel form in a tube (30g) and liquid form in a bottle (30ml).
达拉辛T，凝胶状（管装30克），液体状（瓶装30毫升）。

I have acne prone skin, especially when my menstrual cycle is approaching. I always do my best to reduce its size, dry it up and speed up the recovery of my acne and its scars or marks. However, the process takes long time. My acne needs about 3 weeks to dry up and its scars or marks need months to fade, not to mention if the obvious indented acne scars are permanent unless I burn a hole to my own pocket for an (or a few, or many?) expensive aesthetic treatment.
我有容易长痘痘的皮肤,尤其是每个月“荷尔蒙比较不稳定”的期间。 我总是想尽办法让它尽快缩小，干透，以便减低粉刺／暗疮对我皮肤所造成的伤害／疤痕。 但是，这个过程需要很长的时间。 我的痘痘需要大约3个星期才能缩小，它所留下的疤痕有时需要数月才能消退，更何况明显的痤疮疤痕（“坑坑洞洞”）是永久性的，除非我有多余的钱去做一次（或几次，或很多次？）昂贵有效的美肤护理。

My confidence always affected, especially covering it up with cosmetic can not really help. My self-esteem is even worse when I have to take photos. Taking a photo with excessive touch up is not my cup of tea.
我的自信心总是受到影响，特别是当化妆品并不能起到完全遮盖痘痘或疤痕的时候。当我不得不拍照时，我变得更加自卑了。 我不是一个很喜欢修饰照片的人，那很假。

I decided to visit a doctor. I went to a general practitioner and told her about my concern. The doctor recommended me liquid type Dalacin T. She mentioned that my condition was not severe. In order to stop having scarring, I need to "stop" having acne in the first place. Her statement made sense. Without doing so, I was like always fighting a losing battle! This is sooooooo true.
我决定去看医生。 我并没有找皮肤专科，我只找了百科医生。 医生建议我使用达拉辛T。她说我的状况并不严重。 为了阻止疤痕的产生，我首先需要避免痘痘的形成。 她说的很有道理。 如果不这么做，我就像在打一场注定会失败的仗！ 这真是说得太正确了。

The application is easy. I just have to dab the sponge on my acne, even before it started to get inflamed. The consultancy and a bottle of Dalacin T cost me SGD52. The result turned out good, it not only stop new pimple from forming but also sooth the existing inflaming acne. My doctor said I can apply it multiple times a day.
使用程序很简单。 我只需要在我粉刺／暗疮／即将形成痘痘的地方上轻压海绵。 医生的咨询费和一瓶Dalacin T花了我52新元。 其效果很好，它不仅阻止了新痘痘的形成，还缓解了现有的痤疮。 医生说我可以一天使用多次。

I felt the liquid-type ran out fast. After two and a half month, I finished it. I headed to Guardian, pharmacy section to enquire, to try if I can get it cheaper than if I got it from the clinic. The pharmacist asked if I wanted gel or liquid form. I decided to try the gel form. I got it at SGD33.70.  If I was not wrong, I got my first bottle at SGD40+ from the clinic. The result turned out good too but it seems like this one can last longer. Or perhaps my skin has improved and I did not have to use it too frequently.
我觉得液体型的耗尽得比较快。 大概两个半月后，它就被用完了。 我前往Guardian药房部门询问，想探讨一下会不会比医生卖的便宜。 药剂师问我是要凝胶的或液体状的。 我决定尝试凝胶状的。 我付了33.70新元。 如果我没记错，诊所好像一瓶要价40多新元。 凝胶状的效果也很好，但似乎可以使用较长时间。 原因或许是自从用了第一瓶后，我的皮肤有所改善，所以减少了使用次数。

Since my skin got better, I only use it on the acne-prone area once or twice a day, after I have cleansed my face. I do not apply it if I do not have a pimple. I am afraid that my skin will "immune" to the medication and it will not be effective anymore.
由于我的皮肤状况好转，现在我只是在清洁脸后，每天一次或两次在粉刺／痘痘爆发区使用它。 如果皮肤没问题，我也不会“未雨绸缪”似地使用它。 我担心皮肤会因此“免疫”了这药物，而它将不再有效。

Anyway, my conclusion is that you will not look great with thick make-up that tries very hard to conceal your scars, acne or pimples. You really need good skin to look gorgeous, with or without make-up. Remember, your make-up "melts" when you are sweating, swimming or after a long day, while beautiful skin does not. We all want to look beautiful all the time, aren't we?
无论如何，我的结论是，涂上厚厚的化妆品未必能掩饰你的伤疤，粉刺或痘痘。 无论你有没有化妆，你真的需要美丽健康的皮肤让你在不费吹灰之力的情况下就变得很漂亮。 请记住，当你出汗，游泳或经过漫长的一天后，你的化妆品会“融化”，而你的自然美却不会。 我们都希望自己一直都漂漂亮亮，不是吗？

Lastly, take care of your lifestyle and do not use your hands to squeeze or touch your skin. If you have to squeeze or pop the acne, let the professional does the job. Otherwise, it is always a better option to patiently wait for the skin to recover on its own. I hope Dalacin T works well for you too, all the best!
最后，要注意你的生活方式，也要避免用手挤压或触碰你的皮肤。 如果你必须挤压出粉刺／脓，请让专业的美容师或医生完成这项工作。 要不然，我劝你还是耐心地等待皮肤自行痊愈比较好。 我希望达拉辛T对你也一样有效，祝你一切顺利！

Colourless and odourless liquid form. It does not leave any sticky feeling on your skin.
无色无味的液体状。 它不会留下任何粘腻感。

Gel form. It is also colourless and odourless. It does not leave any sticky feeling on your skin.
凝胶状。 它也是无色无味。 它不会留下任何粘腻感。

Good Death: Listen to Life and Death Story Telling 善终：听生死说故事

This is the poster I saw on Facebook.
这是我在面书上看到的海报。

Mr Feng is an author and counsellor who I admire, for his sensibility, understanding, professionalism and empathic. All these while, I enjoyed reading his blog and follow his Facebook Page. I have waited long for his workshop/talk to be conducted in Singapore but it was not available. Most of his seminars were conducted in Malaysia. Luckily, one day when I browsed my Facebook, I came across this poster for his seminar in Singapore. I was too excited. I picked up my mobile and called the organizer, City Book Room immediately to book a ticket. Without further ado, I also paid on the same day, as I was too afraid that the ticket will sell out fast. Yes, it did. A week after, all tickets were sold out and I was not able to book another one for my friend.
冯先生是我仰慕的作家和辅导师，因为他敏感，善解人意，专业和富有同理心。 我喜欢阅读他的博客并关注他的面书。 我一直在等待他到新加坡来进行他的工作坊/演讲。 他的大多数研讨会都是在马来西亚进行的。 幸运的是，有一天，当我浏览面书时，我看到了这张海报。 这简直让我太兴奋了。 我拿起手机，立即打电话给主办方－城市书房预订入场劵。 不用多说，我马上就付款，因为我相信票很快就会卖光。 的确是。 一个星期后，所有门票都售罄，我无法为我的朋友预订另一张门票。

I expected the workshop to be educational by sharing with the audience what is good death about and the "formula" to achieve that. However, it was not conducted in classroom-like teaching method but I kind of like the style and the way the speaker, Mr Feng, delivered the message and knowledge, simply by telling us those real-life stories that he has handled. His style was hilarious and at the same time, it was touching. We, as audiences, we laughed and we cried. Every single story touched your heart and stimulated your nerves. This brilliant gentleman has the know-how to engage his audiences to the greatest extent.
我以为这场活动是与观众分享什么是善终以及实现这一目标的“公式”。 然而，它并不是类似课堂的教学方法。但我喜欢冯先生传达信息和知识的风格和方式。他告诉我们他所处理过的那些真实故事。 他的风格有些搞笑，同时也很感人。 作为观众，我们一起笑，也一起哭了。 每一个故事都触动了我的心灵，刺激了我的神经。 这位才华横溢的绅士懂得如何最大限度地吸引和抓住他观众的注意力。

I have bought two books on the spot, one is "Good Death" and another one is "Bring Love Home". The latter one was recommended by one of the guests I met. I would recommend for those who have children to read "Bring Love Home". Different from most of the parenting books, the case studies were all from real examples and thus, easier to understand and implement. I was lucky enough to get his autograph, with his ran-out-of-ink marker pen.
我当场就买了两本书，一本是“善终”，另一本则是“把爱带回家”。 后者是我遇到的一位来宾强力推荐的。 我会建议那些有孩子的父母阅读这本“把爱带回家”。 与大多数育儿书籍不同的是，这本书诉说了好多的真实案例，并加以解读和分析，因此更易于理解，实施和避免身为父母的我们犯上同样的错误／“误踩地雷”。 我很幸运能够拿到他的亲笔签名。与他嘘寒几句，我发现冯先生连说话都很温柔。

Mr Feng, you have never disappointed me and I have learnt a lot from your Question-and-Answer session as well. Thank you for letting me know that there is no formula or a fixed way to have a good death. It is all about mutual understanding, being open-minded, respect and caring for each other among family members in order to have that privileges when we are at the end of our life. And thank you so much for letting me know in what circumstances, it is advisable to let the patient knows about his/her expected remaining lifespan and vice versa.
冯先生，你从来没有让我失望，我也从你的问答环节中学到了很多东西。 感谢您让我知道善终没有公式或固定的方法。 善终是建立于相互理解，家庭成员之间对死亡保持开放的心态，互相尊重和关心。只有这样，我们才可以得到善终。我也非常感谢你让我知道在什么情况下，我们应该或不应该让临终病人了解他/她所剩余的寿命。

p/s You may watch his YouTube videos or books to understand more about the topics he covers. Or if you have elderly or family members who view death as a taboo to talk about, you can play videos to them when you are driving them on the car or at home, intentionally or "unintentionally".
p/s 您可以观看他的YouTube视频或书籍，以了解他专业领域中所涵盖的范围和信息。 或者，如果您家有老人或将谈论死亡视为禁忌的家庭成员，您可以在开车载送他们时或在家中有意无意地播放视频给他们看。

Event day. Photo credits to City Book Room/Mr Feng.
活动日。 照片来自城市书房/冯先生。

Event day. Photo credits to City Book Room/Mr Feng.
活动日。 照片来自城市书房/冯先生。

Books available for purchase on event day. Guests were queuing to get his autograph. Photo credits to City Book Room/Mr Feng.
出席者可在活动当天购买书籍。 来宾们排队等候签名。 照片来自城市书房/冯先生。

These were the two books which I have bought. I have finished reading them and some of the examples he quoted alert me as a parent.
这是我买的两本书。 我读完了“把爱带回家”。冯先生所引用的真实案例提醒身为人母的我所该注意和避免的事项。

Pre-Plan for Own's After-life Matters 为自己的生命事项预先计划

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

I believe you might have heard about the benefits of pre-plan for your own after-life matters, which including buying a niche and/or ancestral tablets for yourself or your loved ones, on top of planning for a will and insurance. You may know about this concept from your family or friend, or even from a stranger who is a salesperson from the bereavement industry. Well, I would say that the concept per se has no right or wrong. Let me tell you why by giving you two examples.
除了计划遗嘱和保险，我相信您可能已经听说过预先计划终身事宜（身后事）的好处，包括为您自己或您所爱的人购买骨灰位和/或神祖牌位。 您可能从您的家人或朋友，甚至是来自殡葬行业的陌生销售人员那里了解了这个概念。 这个概念本身没有对与错。 让我以两个真实的例子告诉你为什么我会这么认为。

Case #1 A couple of elderly purchased a shared niche

Their intention of doing so is very simple - that is to ease the burden of their children when they have passed away. Without any interference or persuasion of anyone, they have made the decision with their own free will. They are a pair of loving couple who have no stern religious belief and with sound financial ability. Their children have never tried to convince them to be any religious believer too. They can foresee that things will remain the same and no migration will happen in the future. The planning was decisive and they felt contented.
案例＃1 一对老人购买了一对骨灰位
他们这样做的目的非常简单 - 那就是为了减轻孩子在老人家去世后的负担。 在没有任何人干涉，干扰，劝说或“洗脑”的情况下，他们在思路清楚而且自愿的情形下做出这个决定。 他们是一对老夫妇，他们没有严格的宗教信仰和他们拥有良好的经济能力。 他们的孩子从未试图说服他们成为任何宗教信徒。 他们可以预见事情将保持不变，未来更不会移民至其他的国家。 他们的规划是干脆利落的，因而他们感到满足。

Case #2 A couple of daughter and mother purchased a shared niche and ancestral tablet

The daughter is single. They were originally religious A believer but were then converted to religion B. Unfortunately, the niche they had bought was designed in a way of religion A, not to mention of the ancestral tablet. They wanted to sell off their "unused" niche and tablet but searching for a potential buyer is so much difficult that is near to almost impossible.
案例＃2 一对母女购买了一对骨灰位和神主牌位
女儿是单身人士。 他们原本是A宗教信徒，但后来信奉了宗教B。 他们已购买的骨灰位是以宗教A的方式设计的，更不用说是神祖牌位了。 他们想卖掉他们“未使用过的”骨灰位和牌位，但是寻找潜在的买家是极其困难，几乎是不可能的。

You may be told that doing planning for yourself has no disadvantage. In case you change your mind one day, you can still sell away your "property" which no longer suitable and you may still profit from the sales at the same time. However, this perfect assumption may not always be realised. A paper profit or "foreseeable guaranteed returns (without any form of agreement)" can never be a real profit until you have pocketed the real cash on your hand. You have to be very careful before making any decision that involves a big sum of money. There are always more than enough salesperson who does not responsible for what they have promised but who only care about their sales target and commission. Do your due diligence check and think of what is the possible worst scenario that can happen and are you ready to bear the consequences? If you have been thinking carefully and ready, just do it and you should have no regret, even though new methods of handling cremains have emerged in the future, which you think you may prefer.
有人可能会告诉你，为自己做身后事的安排并没有不利之处。如果有一天,你改变主意了，你仍然可以卖掉那不再适合你的“不动产”，并同时从中获利。但是，这个完美的假设并非总能实现。 “账面利润”或“可预见的保证回报（在没有任何形式的协议下）”永远不会是真正的利润。 实实在在的利润是当你把真的现金收入自己的囊中时才算的。你在做出任何涉及大笔资金的决定之前，你必须非常小心。这世界上不缺的是信口开河人的销售人员。他们对自己所承诺的事情毫不负责，他们关心的只有他们的销售目标和佣金。您做好功课，并准备好承担最坏情况的后果了吗？ 如果你仔细思考并做好了准备，那就去完成自己的心愿吧。 我相信你不会后悔，即使未来出现了你认为你可能更喜欢的处理骨灰新方式。

I hereby wishing you all the best.
我在这里真心祝福你一切美满。

Life and Death (II) Page 92 - 114 生死自在（二）第92 - 114页

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

妈妈往生后，爸爸的后续照顾课题
Father's follow-up care after mother's death

现实的生活中，恩爱夫妻不论如何鹣鲽情深，要能“同年同月同日死”，而能免除彼此间的失落与悲伤，这样的几率是微乎其微的，因此“丧偶”的失落心理与悲伤情绪一定会出现在夫妻间比较后走的那一位，这也是一项千古以来人们不得不面对的生死难题与功课。
In real life, the chances for loving couples to pass on on same day is minimal, and thus to extricate themselves from the sorrow of losing their spouse is almost impossible. Hence, the sorrow of losing loved ones will surely happen to one of them, the one who still alive. This is a difficult life-and-death topic we are facing since ancient times. 

从二零一二年九月初开始，妈妈几度进出医院，后来进住台大安宁病房，最后接回家中安然往生。就在那段期间，因为看到妈妈病重及往生，爸爸心里非常难过，情绪也十分低落，居然中断了他持续将近四十年的诵念《金刚经》和写毛笔字的日常功课，后来还整日昏睡。对我们兄弟来说，这是一个相当严重的警讯，如果再长此以往，爸爸很可能就此一蹶不振。
From the beginning of September 2012, my mother had been admitted to hospital several times, subsequently admitted to Taiwan National Hospice Care, and finally passed on peacefully at home. During that period, my father was very sad because he had seen my mother seriously ill and passed on. He discountinued his chanting of <Jin Gang Sutra>  and practicing of Chinese calligraphy which he had been practicing daily for almost 40 years, and later became lethargic. For us, it was a very serious alarming. If this issue was not taken care of, my father was likely to become depressed.

幸好在我们兄弟的安慰，鼓励和劝说之下，爸爸又重新开始持诵《金刚经》和写毛笔字的日常功课了，让我们松了一口气。我们兄弟都已有了共识，接下来爸爸的后续照顾课题，千万不能掉以轻心，我们仍然要同心协力，分工合作，让爸爸能够度过妈妈往生后的悲伤情绪，安享晚年。
Fortunately, after our comforting, encouragement and persuasion, my father began to practice his daily chanting and Chinese calligraphy again. We were relieved. We (siblings) already had a consensus and decided to work together to take good care of my father, ensuring that he could overcome the sorrow of losing my mother and enjoy his old age.

完

The end

Life and Death (II) Page 78 - 91 生死自在（二）第78 - 91页

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

临终亲人该不该插鼻胃管的再省思
A Serious Re-consideration Towards Intubating Dying Loved Ones

大家一定会问：“你怎么知道妈妈的时间快到了？”答案是“将心比心，而且是长时间的亲情互动与关怀了解。”我决定不让医护人员为妈妈插鼻胃管，绝对不是在妈妈住进医院后，我才“临时起意”或者是“一时”的判断，而是基于母子间长期的亲情互动与了解，包括妈妈的人生态度，个性，脾气，好恶。。。等等，而且不只是我，几个弟弟也都非常了解妈妈的生死观与个人需求。

Everyone will certainly ask:"How do you know when your mother's about to pass away?" My answer is "I imagine myself in the shoes of my mother, and this is based on long-term interaction, care and mutual understanding." I decided not to let medical staff insert nasogastric tubes to my mother, this was definitely not something decided intuitively or "on-the-spot"" judgement, it was based on long-term interaction and understanding, including her attitude towards life, personality, temper, preferences... etc. It was not just me, my younger brothers also understand her view towards life and death and personal needs.

俗谚说：“千金难买早知道，万金难买后悔药。”之前所谈的那些道理，都是我累积了四十多年的生死思维以及二十多年的临终关怀经验与见闻所得，也可以说是我早就知道的事，如果我不坚持，绝对会让全家人都后悔莫及。
As quoted by folks:"It is diffucult to buy [if I know it earlier...] with thousand of dollars and it is even harder to buy medicine which can cure regrets with ten thousands of dollars." The principles that I talked about before were experience and knowledge I acquired in the past. They are the thoughts I accumulated for more than 40 years with regarding to life and death, and also more than 20 years of  hospice care experince. I could predict what would happen when my mom passed on. If I did not insist on what I was suppose to do, my family and I would absolutely regreat.

最后还有一点要特别补充说明的，就是所谓的“临终脱水现象”，这是一种临终阶段身体变化的自然过程。临终阶段的病人会出现脱水现象，主要是因为病人“无法”，也“不需要”再进食及喝水，其实这样可以减轻病人身体的负担，有利于往生，就像“落叶归根”一样。这时候如果再不断地为病人喂食乃至灌食，等于是不断地增加临终病人的身体负担，结果反而会造成“临终水肿现象”，其实是非常不利于往生的。
Finally, there is one pint that needs to be particularly mentioned. It is the so-called "dehydration phenomemom at the end of life." This is a natural process of physical change at the end of life. Dying patient will experience dehydration, mainly because the patient "cannot" and "does not need" to eat and drink. In fact, this can reduce the burden on the patient, facilitating a good death, it is just like "falling leaf is getting back to its tree's root". At this time, if we continue to feed patient or even feed him through tube regardless of his appetite to eat, we are continuing increasing the physical burden of the dying patient. As a result, it will in turn cause the "phenomenon of terminal edema", and this is indeed very bad towards having a good death.

其实真正的临终关怀，是亲人灵性生命之“安顿，转化与开展”的课题，此时医疗所扮演的角色，应该是“旁助”病人善终及往生，而不是“阻碍”及“破坏”，“要不要插管”的答案就很清楚了。
The real hospice care is about "settling down, transforming and developing" our loves one spiritually. At this time, the role of medical care shoule be "assisting" the patient in hospice to have a comfortable death, rather than "hindering" and "destroying". The answer for "whether to intubate" will then be very clear.

我再问各位读者：“将来您要告别人生舞台的时候，希望身上会插几根管子啊？”您一定会大声地说：“一根都不要！”同理，您希望您的亲人在临终时身上会插几根管子啊？将心比心，应该也是“一根都不要！”您说是不？
I would like to ask reader again:"When you are going to [say goodbye], how many tubes do you hope to get intubated?" You will say aloud:"None!" Similarly, how many tubes do you hope your loved ones to have when he is dying? If you think in his shoes, you will say "None!", won't you?

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Life and Death (II) Page 73 - 77 生死自在（二）第73 - 77页

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

临终亲人该不该插鼻胃管的再省思
A Serious Re-consideration Towards Intubating Dying Loved Ones

即使您已经预立了遗嘱，甚至签了“不施行心肺复苏术（DNR）意愿书，都不一定有用。当您已经没有行为能力的时候，您所签署的所有文件都”不会自行“发生效力，而是“需要有人”来确实执行才能生效，并且还要”按照您的意愿“忠实地执行，您的“往生品质与尊严”才能获得实际的保障。

Even if you have already prepared a will, or you have signed Do-Not-Resuscitate (DNR) order, these measures do not guarantee you the decicion you have made will be in place, when you are incapacitated. Your proxy needs to honour your wish faithfully, to ensure that your intention is well implemented.

坦白地说，这是非常高难度的事，届时到底如何抉择后续的医疗措施？往往在家属及子女之间众说纷纭，莫哀一是，甚至于子女反目，兄弟倪墙。有的病人已经年过九十，甚至于是百岁人瑞，最后一旦触及“要不要急救？”的问题，往往“急救抢救派”会占上风，之前病人已经签署的所有文件都可能会形同具文。

Franky speaking, this is a very difficult matter. How do you choose follow-up medical treatments in the end? Often there are disagreements between family members, no consistent conclusion, children turn their backs against each other and fighting. Some patiends have already in their 90, or 100 year old, when confronted with question "Do you want mergency aid?", the "emergency rescue supporters" will usually prevail. All the documents that the patient has signed before will then serve no purpose at all. 

听我这么一说，有人就开始担心了：“这样说来，在善终和往生的路上，岂不是大家都危机重重，险象环生，前途甚忧？”的确如此！不是我危言耸听。孔子说：“人无远虑，必有近忧。”所以，我们要未雨绸缪，早作准备。

Thus, some people began to worry:"If so, when we are on the journey of dying, we are all exposed to the risk of not able to have good death as we wanted?" Yes, indeed. I was not trying to exaggerate anything or creating fear among you. Confucius said:"If we don't have concern for long term, we will have worry in the near future."Therefore, we must prepare for "rainy day" in advance.

绝大多数现代人之所以无法善终，主要还是因为在思想观念上不能接受“肉体生命终究会停摆”的“自然性”与“必然性”，也看不到“灵性生命无限”的“永续开展性”，所以就不断地运用现代医疗科技来抗拒死亡，一味地阻止死亡的到来。最终所造成的严重后果就是，“平白错失”真正能够善终与往生的“宝贵契机”，最后不是“死得很痛苦”，就是“活得很痛苦”。

The vast majority of people unable to have good death is due to they can not accept the truth that our physical body will eventually die, it is a natural process and inevitable. They do not see that we will continue our life in the spiritual world. Hence, they tend to use modern medical technology to resist death, doing their best to stop the arrival of death. At the end, the serious consequence is that they miss the opportunity of having good death, they either dying or living in a very "torturing" way.

这就是为什么我会提出来“见好就收”，“潇洒走一回”，“不要拖过生命的赏味期”，“不要变成生命的延毕生”。。。等等“善终口诀”的思想脉络，这些都是我刻苦铭心的肺腑之言。

This is why I propose you all to "grasp the sense of right time to let go", "do not extend our own expiry date","do not delay your own graduation"... These mnemonics are my unforgettable sincere words from my heart.

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Life and Death (II) Page 61 - 72 生死自在（二）第61 - 72页

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

临终亲人该不该插鼻胃管的再省思
A Serious Re-consideration Towards Intubating Dying Loved Ones

我很坦白地说，大多数医护人员及医疗团队只是看到与关心“医疗”层面的问题，而我看到与关心的是“医疗”层面背后之“灵性生命”层次的问题。

I am honest to tell that what most of the medical staff see and care is only the medical treatment. What I see and care is the spiritual needs beyond those medical treatment. 

在妈妈往生的十年前，我就开始关注妈妈的老化情况，俗话说“母子连心”，我怎么会不知道妈妈的需要！我会在接下来的讨论中清楚地说明。《大学》有云“物有本末，事有始终，知所先后，则近道矣。”在此，我必须先点出“医疗抉择问题”背后的“根本问题”－－也就是我们每一个人的“生命观”与“生死观”，才是所有医疗抉择“思维”与“行为”背后的“根本问题”之所在。如果这个根本问题不先解决，那么当我们不得不面临亲人“生死大事”的“关键时刻”，所有的“医疗抉择”往往都会陷入“进退维谷”的两难与“作茧自缚”的困境。
I began to pay attention to my mother's aging situation ten years before she passed on. As folksay "the hearts of both mother and child are strongly connected", how could I do not understand what my mother needed? I will clearly explain in the following discussion. <Da Xue> quoted "Every object has its begining and ending, if you understand its sequence, you understand the fundamental truth."I would like to point out the fundamental problem which causes problem while making medical decision. That is our own perspective towards life and death. This individually different prespective is the main cause for everyone to think and make decision differently. If we do not solve this disagreement among family members, we have to face great dilemma when our loved ones is in the very "critical moment".

当我们不得不面对亲人临终的肉体生命极限时，加上医疗措施也已经到达科技的极限时，就不应该消耗亲人的精神及体力去对抗病魔，或者无谓地拖延其病体的生命，而是应该帮助亲人保留最后的精神及体力，让亲人好好地“活着”准备“往生”。这时家人最应该做的事，就是排除所有不当的医疗干扰，全心全意地“陪伴，照顾”临终亲人。
When we have to face the "departure" of our loved ones, and when all the possible medical measures have reached their limits, we should not consume his physical energy to fight against the disease, or unneccessarily "prolong" his life. What we need to do is to help him to retain the very last physical strength, so that he can pass on peacefully. The most important thing for the family members to do is to eliminate all the improper medical interventions and whole-heartedly accompanying and looking after their dying loved ones.

有一次我和莲花基金会董事长陈荣基教授谈论临终关怀的问题时，他引述台大医院柯文哲医师的话：在加护病房里的末期病人，家里越是有钱，有权，有势的，越是不得好死。为什么？因为越是家大业大的临终病人，他的家人越不舍得让他走，他会越有可能受尽现代先进医疗措施极致的“照顾”－－说得更坦白一点，比较像是“大刑伺候”，在绝大多数的情况下，家属一定会要求“急救加抢救”，一直救到救不了为止，根本就没有机会善终。

When I was having discussion about hospice care with Lotus Foundation Chairman Professor Chen Rong Ji, he quoted words from Doctor Ke Wen Zhe from National Taiwan University Hospital: For those terminally ill patients in ICU, the richer ones tend to not able to have good death. Why? That is because the richer they are, their family members are more prefer to "prolong" their life as much as they can with all possible available modern medical treatments and measures. To be frank, it is more like a great punishment to the patients. In vast majority cases, the family members will request doctor to carry out "urgent and emergency rescue", until the last resort is no longer working, ended up those patients were not given a chance to have good death at all.

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Life and Death (II) Page 58 - 59 生死自在（二）第58 - 59页

Image sourced from the internet.

照片源于互联网。

                                                                         

我要特别提一件事情，并且表达感谢之意的，就是在妈妈住院期间，然后接回家中，一直到往生助念，火化，我的学生杨春茶都帮忙拍下了影音记录，当时不觉得有什么特别，现在都成为弥足珍贵的资料。当时我们兄弟专注在陪伴及照顾妈妈，没有想到要特别留下什么记录，而春茶已有陪伴自己妈妈往生的经验，知道留下记录的重大意义。非常感谢春茶的用心记录，我在写这篇文章的时候，那些影音记录成为非常重要的依据，不然的话，光凭回忆是不够清楚明确的，这就应验了李商隐的诗句：“此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。”

I would like to specially mention and express my gratitude to my student Yang Chun Cha. Chun Cha had helped to take audio and video records the moment when my mother was hospitalized, transferred back home, passed on and the ritual and cremation. I did not feel anything special but later we realised that the recordings had became valuable information. At that time, my brothers and I only concerned of taking care of our mother, we did not aware that we need to do the audio/video recording. Chun Cha had gone through the process of accompany his dying mother and thus he knew the importance and significance of those recordings. I am very grateful of his intention, which became very important supporting when I wrote this article. Otherwise, it is not possible to remember everything cleary. As quoted by poet Li Shang Yin: “此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。” (it is too late to treasure when it has became a memory, treasure and know its importance now.)

还有一件关乎亲人往生，具有重大意义的项目，我要提供给各位读者分享的，就是在感恩追思会之前，我们家人想要为妈妈的一生留下可供大家怀念的珍贵记录，但是因为经历过几次搬家，许多珍贵的老照片，都不知道放到哪里去了。结果二弟开宪通宵达旦，翻箱倒柜地找到一些千金不换的老照片，再由弟妹沈冬彻夜撰写追思文案，画龙点睛地记录了妈妈平凡却精彩的一生，在追思会当天的会场外布展，让我们家人，亲友和来宾们倍感温馨。

Another significant thing to share with readers here, that is before organizing a memorial ceremony for my mother, we wanted to share with visitors about her precious moments. However, we moved (house) a few times, we had lost many old photos. As a result, my second brother Kai Xian searched overnight for those photos meantime my sister-in-law Shen Dong wrote a memorial article. Those photos and article were exhibited at the memorial hall. All this effort had displayed my mother's ordinary but wonderful life and added a warm finishing touch to the ceremony.

因此，我要提醒读者，为亲人的生平以及最后的时光，用心留下珍贵的记录，事后会多一分追思与怀念，少一分追悔与遗憾。
Thus, I would like to remind readers to intentionally capture and keep the precious moments of our loved ones, so we can have more for remembrance and reduce the chances of regreting in the future.

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Life and Death (II) Page 37 - 53 生死自在（二）第37 - 53页

Photo from https://lcmstan.twbbs.org/zi4shen/archives/356
照片取自https://lcmstan.twbbs.org/zi4shen/archives/356

有很多插了鼻胃管的病人，因为无法排泄，所以必须作“造口”手术，就是在腹部开个洞，接上管子，让肠胃里的废物可以排出来。有了“造口”，就有“细菌或病毒感染，甚至于溃烂”的风险，而且几率颇高，等于是“潜在性”地“制造了”另外一个更难处理的问题。
There are many patients with nasogastric tube inserted due to they are having difficulties to excrete. They need to go through "stoma" surgery which results in a small opening on the surface of the abdomen being surgically created in order to divert the flow of faeces and/or urine. With a stoma, there is a high risk of getting bacterial or viral infection or even festering wound. It is almost like potentially creating another harder problem.

多数插了鼻胃管的末期或临终病人，因为一直卧病在床，甚至于意识昏沉，身体没有活动，也无法活动，所以胃肠的消化功能也随之退化甚至于停滞，因此有不少病人最后“走的时候”，不是肚子涨得鼓鼓的（就如俗话所说的“一肚子大便”），就是大小便失禁，在体内囤积已久而且发酵的废物倾泻而出，让往生者躺在满床粪便中告别人生舞台，情何以堪。
Most of the terminally ill or dying patients with nasogastric tubes inserted, have to rest on their beds in long term. Thus, they tend to feel drowsy or have low conciousness. They have low level of activity simply because they are not convenient to move their bodies. Hence, their gastrointestinal digestive function will be degenerated or even stop functioning. Therefore, there are many patients, the moment when they are passing away, are having bulging abdomen or fecal incontinence. Many of them are passing away in their beds which are full of excreta.

我并不是一味地反对插管，二弟曾经动过手术拿掉一颗肾脏，手术后因肠道严重阻塞无法排便而插鼻胃管喂食，我自己也曾经因肠道严重阻塞无法排便而插鼻胃管引流，这些都是必要或不得已的“治疗”措施。但是妈妈在这个关键时刻最最需要的，不是”治疗“，而是“亲情关怀”和“灵性照顾”，安宁照顾的原则与精神就是：from cure to care。
I do not blindly oppose to intubation. My younger brother had a surgery before to remove one of his kidneys. The surgery had caused him severe intestinal obstruction and constipation. Thus, he was inserted a nasogastic tube for feeding. I also experienced severe intestinal obstruction and constipation and thus was inserted nasogastric tube too, to clear out my excreta. All these treatments were necessary and they were the last resort. However, at that crucial moment, what my mother needed was not "treatment" but care from her loved ones which included "spiritual care". The principal and essence of hospice care is: from cure to care.

临终病人只要插上了管子，不论是呼吸器或是鼻胃管等等，病人与家属的精力及关注点，就统统都围绕着“照顾那些管子里的东西进进出出”而搞得团团转，反而没有精神和余力真正好好地“陪伴”病人。更严重的情况是，当病人拖过了“人生的赏味期”，变成了“生命的延毕生”，多数的家属都无能为力而后悔莫及，有的甚至就把病人丢给医疗机构，自己躲得远远的，真正和病人常相左右的，其实是一堆无情的“医疗机器和管子”。
As long as the patient has been intubated, whether it is respirator or nasogastric tube and so on, the attention and focus of the patient and his family members will be on those tubes. They are left with no time to be spent with each other. In severe circumstances, when there is no hope for the patient to recover and he is simply being "extended" to continue his life, most of the family members are regretful, some even leave the patient with the medical staff. At the end of the day, what left with the patient is a bunch of ruthless tubes and medical machines. 

最后事实证明，妈妈靠着每天的两袋点滴及输液，维持了四十三天的生命，并没有“营养不良”或“饿死”的问题。在住院以及回家照顾的这段时间，妈妈陆陆续续将胃肠里的废物排泄得干干净净，得以身心清爽地在孙儿的佛号声中含笑舍报往生。
Finally, it turned out that my mother lived for another forty three days  by dribbling, without any sign of malnutrition or starvation. During the period of hospitalization and being cared at home, she was able to have bowel movements. Thus, at the moment she was passing on, she was clean and peaceful.

在此与各位读者经验分享：要准备将临终的亲人从医院接回家中，除了医疗床，点滴，临时看护之外，氧气机，电子体温计，血压计。。。，都要事先搞定，才不致于亲人有状况时，左支右绌，不知如何是好。
I would like to share my experience with everyone here: If you are preparing to transfer your loved ones from hospital back to home, other than medical bed, drip and (part-time) private nurse, you need to get ready a oxygen tank, electronic thermometer, sphygmomanometer... This is to better "equip" yourself if anything happens to your loved ones.

我们很详尽地讨论了妈妈的后续关怀及后事处理事宜，并且达成了共识。因为妈妈生性朴实，低调，而且几乎不打扮，生平不喜歡交际应酬，所以我们兄弟决定秉持妈妈的一贯作风来处理后事：不发讣闻，不收奠仪，不看日子，不办公祭，而以追思会的方式怀念妈妈。因为不选日子，所以妈妈的遗体不进冰柜，直接入殓，然后火化。事后回想，还好我们家人及时会同讨论并且达成共识，让妈妈的后事处理非常顺畅圆满，否则很可能措手不及，慌乱一团。
We discussed about our mother's hospice care and after-life matters in details and came to a mutual consensus. Our mother is a low-key person, almost not dressing up all the time. She did not like to network and thus we decided to uphold her "style" while handling her funeral matters. We did not publish an obituary, no collection of condolence fund, no selection of "good date" and no public memorial. What we did for her is just a memorial. Due to the reason that we did not select "good date" for specific funeral "procedure", we did not need to send our mother's body to the mortuary cabinet but to the coffin and then followed by cremation. Whenever we recall the process, we are glad that we were just in time to discuss about our mother's after-life matters and came to an consensus, and thus manage to smoothly settle all funeral matters. Otherwise, we are very likely to be  in a panic.

我交代Yani每一小时记录一次妈妈的血压，脉搏，体温，最后一笔记录是在二十四日晚上七点二十分，也就是在妈妈舍报往生前一小时，她的血压103／54，脉搏60，体温36.8度。这些数据显示，妈妈不但没有拖到体力精神都衰竭耗尽的情况，而是保有足够的精神和体力，所以才能在孙儿的佛号声中，含笑舍报往生，这也是我们兄弟至感安慰之处。
I asked Yani to record my mother's blood pressure, pulse and body temperature once hourly. The last record was on the 24th (date) 7:20pm, which was one hour before my mother passed on. Her blood pressure was 103/54, pulse 60, body temperature 36.80. This record shown that my mother was still in healthy state while passing on. We all were glad about this.

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